Thursday, October 27, 2011

Samuel L. Jackson is... Willy Wonka!

Photoshop by Silverhair1960 for
Have you ever wondered what Charlie and the Chocolate Factory would be like with Samuel L. Jackson cast as Willy Wonka? 

Yeah, I hadn't either until a friend of mine made a random comment the other day... so then I wrote this:

Charlie: Where are we going, Mr. Wonka?

Wonka: Where are we goin? Where are we GOIN? How about you get in the muthf**in' elevator, and you find out when we get to the muthaf**ka? That's where we're goin.

Charlie: But what about the other children?

Wonka: Charlie, lemme spell this out for you. You ever come up on some river that was floodin' its banks?

Charlie: Y-yes?

Wonka: Well those other children? Those are like the stones you step on to get to the other side, before that river washes your ass downstream.

Charlie: You mean, you're just going to leave them like that?

Wonka: Leave them like that? Charlie, those corrupt muthaf**kas always been like that. I just revealed their true forms: "But on the day that Lot left Sodom, God rained fire and brimstone from the sky and destroyed them all. Exactly so will it be on the day that the veil is lifted from the Son of Man."

Charlie: Ummm…


Wonka: Here's our floor!

(No, I hadn't seen that image before I wrote this. The internet simply contains all possible outcomes to all possible human action. Especially the ones that involve Photoshop.)